Monday, 5 September 2016

Type 1 Diabetes: Does it hurt?

Needles are a big part of having diabetes. It's the emotional side of it all that people seem to talk about being difficult or painful, but you can't forget about the needles.

  • 66,000 finger tests. 
  • 9,808 insulin injections. 
  • 1,185 set changes. 
  • 714 sensor changes. 
  • 50 blood tests/IVs. 
  • 16 flu jabs. 
  • 4 minor operations. 
  • 3 major operations.
  • A multitude of other scans, procedures and tests.


That's 77,700 needles. Not including the set changes that went wrong, the extra injection of insulin to help a high blood sugar come down. 77,700 needle because of 1 missing pancreas. 

You can read the rest of my blogpost here:

Type 1 Time Managment

Time. There's a lot to say about it. Diabetes takes up a lot of time, doesn't it? But it doesn't ever borrow it. Diabetes steals time.

60 seconds in a minute. 

60 minutes in an hour.

24 hours in a day. 

7 days in a week. 

How much of that time is taken from us by diabetes?

You can find the rest of my post here!

Tuesday, 16 August 2016

Hypos: The Weird and Wonderful

Hypos can have many triggers. Exercise, cold weather, hot weather, revision, nerves, stress, for me my pancreas could secrete some insulin randomly and of course there's giving too much insulin for food amongst many other causes.
But some triggers are little weird aren't they? A friend of mine's diabetic brother goes hypo everytime he sets foot in H&M. Yeah, H&M the shop sends him low. How weird?! They've given up shopping in there!
Want to read more? Check my new blog here:

Monday, 1 August 2016

HbA1c Importance. Or lack of?

What's all the hype about the HbA1c? It's all the consultants seem to go on about, but are they that important?

First of all, some basics and facts!

  • HbA1c means the glycated haemoglobin in the blood. So, the amount of glucose stuck to haemoglobin accumulated through having high blood sugars. (The higher, the more glucose gets stuck)
  • The glucose 'falls off' after around 3 months which is why that's how frequently you have your A1c measured. 
  • The target A1c was 7.5% but has been lowered to 6.5% because studies showed that the average A1c across the country was 0.5% above the target. 
  • They are using 2 units of measurement % and mmol/ls so if your A1c 7.0% it is 53mmol/ls. 

Here is a link to a page with a lot more details on the subject if you'd like to know more about what an HbA1c is and means - 

All that is very well, having a high A1c can lead to complications, you should aim to lower your A1c and it is an incredibly important measurement, of course. But what does an HbA1c actually mean to the diabetic?

Read the rest of my post here!

Tuesday, 26 July 2016

Insulin Pump Sets: Moving Location

**This isn't necessarily an information post, it is my own  experience and learning tips.

I think I have probably worn a set or a sensor everywhere you possibly could. I've worn cannulas on my arm, stomach and bum whilst having sensors on my thigh, stomach, bum, lower back and arm. Obviously not all at the same time.

I first got my insulin pump aged 6, starting on sof sensors the very same day. I can proudly say I will have been pumping for 10 years on the 14th of December this year!! When I started I had both my sensors and cannulas in my bum, always along the very top because I was a creature of habit and would never, EVER rotate. 

Read the rest of this post here on my new blog:

Monday, 18 July 2016

What are the 6 True Pros and Cons of having Type 1 Diabetes?

So, there are are the typical good aspects of diabetes you hear everyday, such as “I get my favourite sweets when I have a low!” I’m fairly sure everyone has heard that one before whether you’re 5 years old or 20 years old, you will have answered with that more than once.

The negatives are no different! I’m 100% sure that the stock answer to the ‘worst thing about diabetes’ question will be about the needles. The frequency of them, the pain of the jabs or even just needing to have them in the first place. We’ve all heard them and probably said them ourselves for lack of thinking or pure laziness.

But what are the things people don’t tell you that they like or don’t like about have type 1 diabetes?

You can read the rest of it here on my new site!

Thursday, 16 June 2016

The Cure for Type 1 Diabetes?

Okay, please don't shoot me. 

If I was offered the cure to type 1 diabetes, I would say no. 


*waits for the backlash of comments about my lack of sanity usually received after stating this*

Read the rest here on my new blog - 

Monday, 30 May 2016

Diabetes Burnout - One of Those Days

It's just been one of those days. 

And I just want to cry. 

It's the type of day that you don't have any particularly mega high bloods or particularly nasty lows. Just the type of day that you just want to give up. 

The monotony of the condition of having do another test, needing to do another set change, think about it all again has got me down today. I really don't want to do any of it (a lot more than usual). 

Read the rest of this post at

Wednesday, 18 May 2016

Ignoring the CGM - Why?

Have you ever heard of #CGMArt?
Neither had I until a few weeks ago. It's an interesting concept.... because you're turning the negativity of the swinging BG levels into a piece of art which is a silver lining and a good aspect! But to have a true masterpiece you must first have had atrocious control for at least 12 hrs...... So surely this is not logical. Although this is something I actually believe I might have already achieved. 
Possibly more than once....
Rather efficiently too.

You can find the rest of this post here:

Monday, 9 May 2016

No More Nagging - 6 Tips To Help You Help Your Teen

See the post here at 

Moving On

This is both a very sad post and quite exciting at the smae time!

I've made the decision to switch blogging platform, so that I can develop my blog further in the future with ease. Blogger served me well and gave me everthing I needed from a bogging platform when I started out but now I have out grown it. I'm upset to be leaving blogger but it will helpme in the long run.

I will continue to post links to me new blog posts on here for readers who found my blog through google or blogger.

You can find my new blog here - 

Monday, 2 May 2016

Diabetes Holidays - Hoburne 2016

You can find this post on my new blog at

Well. I've had an eventful weekend.

I spent my bank holiday weekend how I always do, at a CWD caravan holiday that happens to be organised by my mum (which resulted in a simple walk to my friends' caravan on the first evening becoming a stop-every-5-seconds-and-hug-another-person walk, which was quite fun I have to admit)! 

And yet this year was different. It wasn't because it was our tenth anniversary of the holiday or because I had a GCSE exam the day afterwards. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it was different. 

The first year this holiday ever took place, I remember meeting a little girl called Olivia. 6-year-old me was stood outside my caravan peeking out from behind my mum, focusing on the little girl who was mirroring me from behind her mum. I distinctly remember she had a red lollipop that I was highly jealous of, having never had one myself at that point. 10 years later, Liv and I still spend the whole weekend with each other!

I picked up other friends along the way, namely, Adam and Oliver. I met Adam 3 years ago and Oliver the year after, but they were all separate friends of mine in different social groups most of the time, at this event. (All of course there because of type 1 diabetes and being in CWD). I guess the thing that made this year special was that the four of us spent the holiday together.

We had an eventful weekend to say the least, including:
- a 2.8
- a 20.5
- an allergic reaction
- 2 episodes resembling an asthma attack 
- 3 set changes in 24 hrs
- a number of highly competitive card games 

Despite all of these mishaps, I simply can't put into words how amazing my weekend was and how much I miss them already!

You're probably reading this thinking - how lovely, she's spent time with some of her diabetic friends. Except, none of them are diabeticAnd, that doesn't matter because they get it anyway

They each have a younger sibling with it so blood sugar testing, insulin pumps and the rollercoaster of levels are their normal too. I wondered if coming on holiday to a place of diabetes annoys them because there's so much of it at home anyway, even wondering if they found my having it an annoyance. So, I asked and, I quote, this was the answer I got:

"It's about being with people who have similar experiences as you. To know you're not the only one who feels a certain way."


"I'm so used to it, it can be weird to not be with somebody who has it." 

Yes, they might not understand the frustration of being sat up, half asleep in the middle of the night with bloods in the 2s, what a hypo feels like or perhaps how painful a bad blood test (of the vein type) truly is. But that doesn't mean they don't live with it too.

For example, I had pretty much 5 hours of solid hypos on Saturday evening. At least three times I only tested because my friend said I had gone pale and he was concerned, although I felt okay at the time. (He had been correct). 

They all revealed at another point that in fact they all carry glucose and/or spare set changes with them for if thier sibling needed them, or anyone at this weekend really! 

At another point we got into the topic of my other conditions (CHI, gastroparesis and dyspepsia - as a result of the surgery) which can take a while to tell the whole story and explain. The friend I was telling didn't nod off! He (seemed) genuinely interested, which was wonderful! I enjoy telling my story because I'm so proud of it and often people only are interested in the really basic bits so I don't tell it too frequently. 

That's not even a fraction of the things they do automatically or how they help me. Another small but brilliant example - it not being out of the ordinary to debate whether or not I should have long acting carbs after a hypo. Not many people I know can do that. Even my family don't know that much. 

They really are special. However much my school friends are around a hypo me and however much I randomly blurt out d-related things - these three people, who I see ONCE A YEAR, understand me better. Simply because they don't have to ask. Nothing about diabetes at all. They just know. 

And I love them for it. 

* I'd like to add that I love them for countless other reasons too but they're unrelated to my blog:)

* CWD is Children with Diabetes UK and it is an organisation for, you guessed it, children with diabetes and thier parents (run by the parents). 

* I did also socialise with other friends with and without diabetes over the course of the weekend, with these three there too, of course. 

Thursday, 14 April 2016

Diabetes Personified

You can find this post on my new blog at

So, I took a part in last year's dblog week  for the first time ever. One of the subjects that was the optional one that you could do instead of that particular day's topic was 'Diabetes Personified'. I never wrote about it because I ended up doing all the set posts but I loved the idea of it, so I saved diabetes personified for a rainy day.

Finally, months and months later, I came across the initial ideas I had for it in my notes on my phone. So, I'll write about my concept of a physical character diabetes may have today. 


Diabetes isn't a person. It's a giant. He is a huge, ugly monster who pounds down the streets cracking pavements, swiping at houses and damaging them almost beyond repair as he passes, with his many puny little humans tied to the ends of his leashes - us diabetics.

He doesn't eat, sleep or really even think. He definitely suffers from insomnia, which doesn't mix well with his inability to read a clock. He certainly isn't diabetic himself, he doesn't understand the pain he causes, just blindly stomping into the lives of the unsuspecting mortals. 

When all his little humans are sleeping deeply, peacefully dreaming away, he will lean down and peer at one diabetic in particular. With a smirk on his face and a glint in his eye he will prod the diabetic. In that house, all hell will break loose with high blood sugars, malfunctioning insulin pumps and bleary-eyed parents stumbling around trying to find the spare pens. 

But, as the giant watches the show gleefully, he shifts his foot backwards accidentally. His misshapen, green toe will nudge a diabetic directly behind him. Chaos erupts in that diabetic's world with a plummeting hypo, a CGM shrieking, spilt lucosade and a dizzy, confused diabetic desperately trying to keep her eyelids open unable to get rid of the shakes. 

As dawn breaks the monster will harshly jerk them out of their slumber and he will shove them into the new day. He will kick the ones who trail behind, occasionally yank a leash simply when it is too quiet to satisfy him. He could be standing on each of their individual shoulders and it wouldn't even make a difference. He is a burden, a parasite, that shadow in the background, silent and intimidating. He is the restraints that the humans just can't escape. 

Unfortunately sometimes that means a diabetic will try to fight back. They will pull on their leash, screaming and crying. But the monster won't tolerate that. He will drag the diabetic through the mud and the grime. He will pull them in so close, with their leash so tight that it hurts. The emotional breakdowns, nightmarish blood sugars and pain will silence the diabetic for a while. 

Until he strikes again. 

But sometimes, just sometimes, the giant will forget about a diabetic or two. Those are the days that the blood sugars are in range, the family is content and the sun is shining. Those are the days diabetics are running, laughing, giddy with excitement because they're free. Just for one day, they have the whole world at their fingertips.  

Because the monster pulls them close, tormenting them and haunting them time and time again, the diabetics will grow stronger. Tougher. Closer to each other. The diabetics who were once puny little mortals on leashes will start to develop the strength that it takes to really fight back, as one. 

One day they will overpower him. Not today, but someday. Today they will battle him, because they know that someday...  they will win. 

(Interestingly, when I was writing this I went low quite quickly. I think the monster noticed me...)

Thursday, 31 March 2016

Type 1 diabetes & Illness

You can find this post on my new blog at

(I know it's another blog post in a such a short space of time but it's one of those things that is circumstantial!)

One of the issues I find with having kinda complex medical problems, I don't know if anyone else finds this, is if I have another problem (especially if it is completely unrelated), I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to people to be all "Well. She's got another problem. Ugh."

For instance at the beginning of the week  I started losing my voice, then a day or two later I got a cough and a slight cold plus I've had a slight temperature a couple of times. And now in the last day or so I've started to struggle breathing - it started with laughing made me cough and now it's like I can't can't get enough air in my lungs all the time. But the thing with not wanting to burden people with it is I don't know if I'm being over dramatic in my head - it's just a bad cold! - or whether I'm being under dramatic - is it really serious? Should I go and see a doctor and ask for antibiotics? Because I don't talk about it, I just don't know. 

Another thing with normal medical problems and illness is for literally EVERYTHING, websites, a lot of doctors and just people in general all go - "Ahhhhh!!! You're type 1 diabetic? You had a pancreatectomy?! You must be admitted to hospital for your sore throat!!!" Which I know it might me true but it just makes the whole, "I feel ill" and speaking up thing worse because I don't want to then say, "should I be concerned about the diabetes too?".

I just don't want to be the girl that has a gazillion medical problems and is a hyperchondriac on top of that and just can't get enough of the attention that being ill and problematic gets her. Because that is definitely not me. I don't even want that to cross people's mind's. 

So. I never know what to do. It's a little more easy when you've injured yourself because you can't hide not being able to put weight on your now stripey ankle, but illness is not as apparent. I just don't like announcing it, I actually have to build up courage and psych myself up to say "I don't feel well" and if someone goes, "Meh" or "Yeah, what about it?" I cannot repeat it or explain if it is a 'bad' I'm feeling ill.  

~ I would like to add that when I typed 'pancreatectomy' my phone went "NOPE". "Pancreas texting".  .....As if it had just gone - "Yo, I'm bord, wanna have sum more insulin? Ya'know what? Imma leave u 2 it instead! C ya L8r!". Please. 

Saturday, 26 March 2016


You can find this post on my new blog at

Recently, I've had a few VERY low hypos. I had a 2.1 just as I was leaving somewhere on my own. I was so confused that I didn't know how much Lucozade I had drunk, or needed to drink, so my first instinct was to call my mum.

A few days later I was just leaving a shop with my dad and I was 1.7. This time my dad was there to help me, but when I reached 3.2 and started heading back down again for some reason, my first instinct was to call my mum.

About a year ago I was in town, again alone (I had only been out about 15 minutes), when I decided to test and I was under 1.1. I didn't even have Lucozade, I called my mum instead.

Each time I have a bad low without my mum there -  my first instinct is to talk to her. Because I know that she will either come and get me or at least sort it out and somehow in my hypo state I realise that. Probably because she's never failed to help me before! I guess it's quite a good thing that I call my mum though, it's a lot better than my first instinct being to go and do 10 star jumps or something stupid as you would expect a hypo person to think of doing.

Because I've nearly finished my GCSEs, I've had to think of the future quite a lot recently and in particular -what I'm going to do Diabetes-wise when I don't live with my mum. I've realised that I definitely need people around me to help me when things get too bad or too much with my diabetes, so I'm going to have to find that person who I trust my life with (and that's difficult to do!) but I'm worried that I won't. I simply can't do diabetes by myself and I never EVER want to live alone. Whether I find a boyfriend, best friend or group of friends to room with, I would rather live at home with my mum and travel 2 hours to university than live alone!

On the more positive side, I keep on thinking about the fact if I end up in medical school, all my peers will more than likely be very interested in all my medical problems and hopefully (fingers crossed!) willing to help me if I need it. They would also, hopefully, grasp the seriousness of it all and not panic in an emergency. Hopefully.

I don't really know what my future holds, but I'm going to make sure I don't do whatever it is alone.

Sunday, 6 March 2016

My Medical ID Braclet

You can find this post on my new blog at

When I was about 2 years old my mum bought me my first ever medical ID bracelet. It was a small gold bracelet which had to have links taken out of it because my wrist were so tiny. I haven't really taken an ID bracelet off since. It hasn't always been that exact one of course, I don't think it would fit anymore!

I've probably had every type of ID bracelet under the sun! And a couple of necklaces as well. I remember a purple sports band with pink  flowers and a Velcro fastening when I was about 5 years old (although I had a necklace that I could tuck under my sihrt for school whilst I was at primary, at secondary I just wore a bracelet). I had a bracelet with mood beads on and two clasps so that the disc with the medical details on could come free of the bracelet. This gave me the idea of making my own bracelets. I don't really know why I decided to that. They were very interesting bracelets. Not very flexible, mismatched beads and often there would be small, sharp bits of wire sticking out at odd angles. I always ended up gravitating back to the proper bracelet anyway! It was much comfier.

After asking for a black thread bracelet that tied to the disc for Christmas about 2 years ago (which didn't last very long as it almost disintegrated when it came into contact with water!) it brings me to my current bracelet. And I love it!

I decided not to get the silver version because I wasn't sure how I would get on with it due to the fact that it is a different style from my previous bracelets. So, it is a stainless steel chain with very big links, a circular charm that dangles off it with the medical details engraved on one side of it, the medic alert symbol on the other side and a polo clasp that secures it on my wrist. (For anyone that doesn't know, a polo clasp is a ring with a bar that goes through it and hooks itself there.) I wear it as an accessory now, it is just another bracelet. However, it is a bracelet that I virtually never take off. I wear it when I wash, sleep, eat - 24/7 pretty much! Although with the exception of during exams because it is on my right wrist so it makes a tapping noise on the table in the silence.

For the first couple of years I had a simple bracelet with 'Diabetic' engraved where my name was supposed to go and my mum's mobile number on the underside. But then we started getting Medic Alert jewelry with the easily recognisable symbol and details of my conditions and medications were kept on the website that had a small number connected to it that would be engraved under some basic details on the bracelet/necklace itself. (It is a yearly subscription, but worth the money). If I collapsed on my own or had a severe hypo and was unable to care for myself, the paramedics would easily be able to find my details and treat me very quickly.

But on the bracelet's disc/charm thing I have this written on it:

'Type 1 Diabetes
- On Insulin Via
Pump, 95%
Hypermobility. Call
for Details
(then my ID number for the website)'

So even without searching the internet, my blood sugars would be tested and treated much more quickly than if they had to find out I was diabetic somehow.

Yes, I do lose it sometimes and I turn my entire bedroom upside down to try and find it (the last time I'd lost it it was actually at school for the whole of the two weeks' holidays as it had broken and fallen off my wrist! That's the only time that happened though), but it is well worth having one. If you are diabetic and don't have an ID bracelet, I highly recommend getting one! Or if you just have a medical condition e.g. a severe peanut allergy or epilepsy it is a very good idea:)

Medic Alert's website - go and check it out!

P.S, I haven't been asked to write this it is all my own opinions.

Friday, 12 February 2016

One Disastrous Visit:/

I think I forgot to write about my disastrous visit to a private school and how diabetes interfered to make it so problematic!

So, this visit took place in early November last year and it was for me to sit a couple of exams, give a presentation and have an interview for a scholarship to attend the sixth form. I was going there with absolutely no teachers from my school (so I had no backup for my diabetes, although my mum was on the end of the phone - but about 20 miles away), the visitees were completely responsible for us. 

Towards the end of the 20 minute bus journey (owned by the school I was going to) my pump went onto smartguard. I tested and I was 3.3. Not a good start, but hey ho. I could deal with just the one hypo. I had Lucozade and decided to retest when I got off the bus even thigh that wasn't the full 15 minutes. 

When I retested I was 3.6. I thought - Excellent! I'm on my way up. We were told that we were going straight on a tour of the school and sixth form areas, which was spread over a really large amount of land for a school. So, I had another hypo treatment of lucosade to be on the safe side. 

I was really wary of the fact I was on my own with no back up at that point, so I hoped it would be an easy hypo to sort out. No such luck. You should also know that I'm one of those people who hates to interrupt anything for my own needs, even if it is a genuine (occasionally severe) medial issue. 

I tested 10 minutes later only a part of the way into the tour.


I stared at it and panicked. 

So, I had more lucosade and realised I would never be able to finish the tour without potentially collapsing. I excused myself out of the building and called my mum. Thankfully she realised I wasn't thinking straight and was really in a bad state and in a sticky situation. She called the school and told the on-site nurses to find me urgently, telling them where I had been when I had called her. 

I didn't take my mum's advice of staying put, telling the tour guide this (in my mind at that moment) was a more mortifying prospect than collapsing. 

After a few short minutes, in a different building, the nurse found me and I had risen at that point thankfully. We walked back to the medial centre and I was there for almost an hour. My mum joined me, after rushing over with more hypo treatment. 

The rest of the day was completely messed up by this hypo disaster. I had to take my scholarship exam in the afternoon (which turned out to be a blessing because in my presentation/interview they realised I should take the maths exam and not the science one! So maybe the hypo was a blessing in disguise?!), I had a separate sixth former for lunch and my mum spent the day in the village surrounding the school. 

It was certainly an eventful day. And even after all of that drama, they offered me the scholarship! Not an ideal situation but if I hadn't have had that hypo I would have taken the science exam before the presentation and I would have failed it miserably. So, lucky me, I guess!

Thursday, 11 February 2016

Who am I?

Right now, I would really appreciate the ability to mind read. I find it so frustrating that I don't know what other people think of me and who I am as a person to them.  Because, sometimes, I actually don't know myself.

I would love to say that I am one of those people who doesn't give a damn about what people think of me, but I do care. I care a lot. It's not the fact that I want to follow the latest trends and use the newest slang terms or coat myself in make up to look a certain way because I don't! I have my own style etc. It's just, I don't want people to not like me or see a negative personality trait in me or something. (I do know that nobody is perfect, but still...)

I often think that I am only "the diabetic" to most of my peers. With no depth to me. I presume that people don't see the clothes I wear, hear my opinions properly or identify me by my actions. I presume that they see my test kit and blood sugars, hear my insulin pump and identify me by my low/high episodes. I guess will never really know if that is true, but I suspect it certainly is the case with people who don't know me very well. 
I feel like every single part of me is founded in medicine. And I don't like that. My blog is diabetic-based and my twitter is diabetic-based. I volunteer, do school work and present at conferences to try and get into medicine. So, who am I without all the medical and the diabetes? I don't know. 

I think this perception of me to my peers and my worries about it is because of how prominent it is in my everyday life. I'm very vocal about my diabetes, often thinking out loud when I'm monitoring or treating blood sugars. Or sometimes bringing up the issues surrounding my diabetes in unrelated conversations, for instance, having a chat about alcohol and then linking it to low blood sugars. I also don't hide my test kit or insulin pump because I feel that having my condition out in the open is easier for me and my friends get used to it very quickly that way. 

However, I always worry about the fact that I push my diabetes onto other people and I worry that I'm too attention-seeking. So, it is comforting when my friends ask me a question or peer over my shoulder at my blood sugar because it shows that they are interested and I'm not boring them with it everyday! 

(I say all this, moaning, but actually I do want to become a doctor. So, I've chosen a profession in even more medical stuff, which goes against everything I've just said...)

So, what I'm doing is trying out new hobbies. I feel like if I do something completely for myself that is relaxing and enjoyable at the same time as being a challenge. It will be down time from working and it will help me build another part of my personality. I used to read all the time, so I'm probably going to do that along side whatever hobby I find fun! So... I love music (especially singing) and I love writing. I've decided to have a go at continuing playing guitar or keyboard, maybe attempt to write a fiction book (I know, mad and unrealistic - but fun!) or combine them and songwrite? I have a lot of time on my hands in the next half term holidays so I will be trying my hand at a little baking (I'm thinking banana and chocolate muffins or sausage rolls). I toyed with the idea of photography but went off that very quickly. I also thought about something sporty as I'd like to do a little more exercise so that is a possibility too.

I'm going to try everything!

Sunday, 3 January 2016

So, I was high....

Before you read this post, I would like to mention that it was written with blood sugars of 18. I normally wouldn't put something like this on my blog either, but I'm hoping that it will help some see what actually goes through a 'high' teenagers head. And why we're so stupid/irrational at that time. 

My sugars have been going high all day. I knew, although I haven't felt rubbish, and I didn't do anything. I have no idea why I didn't. I didn't think about correcting, I couldn't be bothered to do anything when when my CGM alarmed EVERY HOUR. I completely ignored the fact that I am diabetic all day. 

I woke up at 10:15 and didn't test until 11:23 - 14.0. I didn't correct. 

I was 14.6 at 13:13, waiting for my food in a restaurant. I didn't correct.  

I was then 14.6 at 13:56, I can't remember why I tested. I didn't correct. 

I ate a snack at 17:24 and bolused (under bolused) without testing. 

At 18:40 I was 16.4 when I ate dinner. 

I had a chocolate at some point after dinner, without testing or bolusing. 

At 21:12 I ate a snack and bolused for it. Then I tested - 18.4. I didn't correct. 

At 21:28 I was 18.4. This was when my mum had just done my set change (I couldn't be bothered to do it today) and discovered all of the above. I didn't correct until she prompted me to, 15 minutes after I should have done. 

I simply don't understand what happened today. And as a result I am now insulin resistant so my blood sugars will be more difficult to bring down than if I had simply corrected that 14.0 at the beginning and this mess wouldn't have happened. 

I even don't really know why I'm posting this. I should be kicking myself right now. I should feel really ashamed after my mum gave me a talking to about 5 minutes ago because she looked through my test kit and pump and found out I had done so badly today. But I don't care and I don't know why (I don't really know what I feel). And that scares me. 

In hindsight, I can now see I was thinking irrationally after being so high for hours on end. I can also now see that I am incredibly lucky that I didn't go up to the 20s or 30s and get into a more dangerous situation. I am also incredibly lucky that my mum realised that I was being irrational (I think the dangers I was giving her gave it away!) and waited until this morning to speak about it with me.