Sunday, 3 January 2016

So, I was high....

Before you read this post, I would like to mention that it was written with blood sugars of 18. I normally wouldn't put something like this on my blog either, but I'm hoping that it will help some see what actually goes through a 'high' teenagers head. And why we're so stupid/irrational at that time. 

My sugars have been going high all day. I knew, although I haven't felt rubbish, and I didn't do anything. I have no idea why I didn't. I didn't think about correcting, I couldn't be bothered to do anything when when my CGM alarmed EVERY HOUR. I completely ignored the fact that I am diabetic all day. 

I woke up at 10:15 and didn't test until 11:23 - 14.0. I didn't correct. 

I was 14.6 at 13:13, waiting for my food in a restaurant. I didn't correct.  

I was then 14.6 at 13:56, I can't remember why I tested. I didn't correct. 

I ate a snack at 17:24 and bolused (under bolused) without testing. 

At 18:40 I was 16.4 when I ate dinner. 

I had a chocolate at some point after dinner, without testing or bolusing. 

At 21:12 I ate a snack and bolused for it. Then I tested - 18.4. I didn't correct. 

At 21:28 I was 18.4. This was when my mum had just done my set change (I couldn't be bothered to do it today) and discovered all of the above. I didn't correct until she prompted me to, 15 minutes after I should have done. 

I simply don't understand what happened today. And as a result I am now insulin resistant so my blood sugars will be more difficult to bring down than if I had simply corrected that 14.0 at the beginning and this mess wouldn't have happened. 

I even don't really know why I'm posting this. I should be kicking myself right now. I should feel really ashamed after my mum gave me a talking to about 5 minutes ago because she looked through my test kit and pump and found out I had done so badly today. But I don't care and I don't know why (I don't really know what I feel). And that scares me. 

In hindsight, I can now see I was thinking irrationally after being so high for hours on end. I can also now see that I am incredibly lucky that I didn't go up to the 20s or 30s and get into a more dangerous situation. I am also incredibly lucky that my mum realised that I was being irrational (I think the dangers I was giving her gave it away!) and waited until this morning to speak about it with me.